I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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