Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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