Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Hippo gnu deer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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