You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
