How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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