pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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