I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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