I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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