True but thats because hes a fetus.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
