very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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