what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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