At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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