So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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