this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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