you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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