you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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