You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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