I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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