please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
