I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
