Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You have to summon your inner elephant
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
