I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
