Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
