Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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