I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
