Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
