One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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