I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize