Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
