idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
