Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
