make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
