That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
