White coat. Heels.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
