Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
