so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
