you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
