i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize