Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
