I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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