I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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