Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
