i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
