omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it was like eating out sand paper
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
