Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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