I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
