While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it's like heaven, but drunker
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
