jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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