if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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