Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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