this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
