im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
