it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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