You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's shark week go big or go home
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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