in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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