After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
