So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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